Ms. QR (a woman in her 60’s) Q.R（６０代）

June 2, 2014 I no longer need too many physical goods. Before the disaster, my house was filled with goods. I think people can go on living as long as being wanted by others. If I can help others, I feel happy. I felt that way when I helped distribute meals at the shelter. I never thought I would end up in living at temporary housing myself. I started lessons on how to play ocarina after the disaster and met with one lady. Her daughter and a grandchild were missing. She wanted someone to hear her story and as I listened, she gradually started to open her heart to me. I grew relationship with volunteers and am gathering with a group. I’ve learned how to listen to other people and trust them. You never know what will happen. I finally became able to shed tears after three years. I try to change the way I think and be creative. I can make myself feel at ease for a compromised level of satisfaction and not to feel that I must have something. Don’t worry about small stuff. I won’t try to go out of my way by saying “no” for what I won’t be able to do. I care for myself and think there are plenty of people who can substitute for my absence. Do not regret, do not fret. I appreciate blue sky, fields and gardens and even weeds, they are so beautiful. Don’t carry over your anger. I am living with my brother and trying to say “I’m sorry” in reflecting that I had been ignoring him to date. After taking a bath, I smile at his back feeling happy for being with him. I started lace crochet since winter of 2013, picked up again what I used to do in my 20’s, hoping to gift them to those who helped me. Small things make me feel happy now. I worked very hard as an office worker in my 30’s, took care of my mother in my 40’s, who had dementia. My mother wanted to go home when she was at home. I couldn’t sleep at night as she wondered around in the middle of the night. I was the only help she had and was always tense and nervous. For 10 years, she was in and out of the hospital. Since I had that kind of experience, I felt very happy when volunteers cared for me this and that at the shelter after the disaster. Losing the house couldn’t have been helped, so I will let that go without feeling regret. It’s not just me but same for other people too. It’s wonderful to have a family and I feel happy if someone opens up to me. I think the time will heal us.