Ms. ST (a woman in her 60’s) S.Tさん （６０代）

June 15, 2014 My brother’s wife and son’s wife graciously took me in for three months. I realized how important it was to relate with siblings and relatives on a regular basis, as they would help you when the worst happens. You will see a true picture of a person at the time of emergency. I feel privileged, thankful and happy for having such family and relatives. Please value your family. I am a person who won’t get so depressed and weave my way through hardships. I spoil and excuse myself as I adore myself. I looked back my past life and started to think about what that life meant to me and other things that I didn’t really have to think. What are friends? It was all because of me that I didn’t have anyone to talk to open heartedly. Ashamed matters, difficult matters, may be I chose to invite them by myself. I am useless, what am I? As I watched my house being washed out to open sea, I found part of me feeing a kind of relief from conservative family traditions and community that I had never thought twice in the past. No worth crying for things you lost. My dishes, clothes and my house, where did they go? Not in the bay but may be somewhere in the ocean. I was happy and adored the house that was inherited from my ancestors, just 10 years after being renovated was washed away. My life after the disaster being stripped bare of everything I had. I feel positive, negative going forward and downward, feeling anxious thinking about moving to a new place or land development. That place was where our home was to my children, where their heart belonged to. When your heart aches, you remember that place. I think how I want to live my life, a life of two with my husband. I want to value my temporary housing. If your family is comfortable, you have nothing to afraid of. I don’t envy others. I’m trying to accept and approve myself. I was happy before but how about my husband and son? After the disaster, I was saved by books. Was it an escape from the reality? I once worked at a library and a book store when I was young. People cannot live alone and eventually needs a care of others. I wonder what type of person I was before and if I did anything wrong? It comes back to you if you take care of others. I try not to deal with matters head-on. As I don’t know the feeling of those who lost immediate family, I try to speak while keeping in mind those who are going through much difficult situation than I am. My past was suddenly cut off in 2011, and I wonder if ordinary life will ever come back. There is no more “ordinary”, so you need to value what is “ordinary”. I’m happy for an ordinary life, the past that was cut off will come back to continue. There are things of value that you realize after losing them for the first time. I remember I was saved by well water. Stars were beautiful that day and I think the nature is amazing. Ocean is calm and beautiful.