Ms. A（a woman in her 60’s）A さん（６０代）

October 24, 2015 When I was escaping, I was walking in the sea water. I waved my hands to a helicopter to show that “I am here”. I did not feel hard or sad. Right after the earthquake, I don’t know why but I just grabbed a radio to evacuate. I walked around without eating or drinking. Finally, I arrived the garbage collection area. There I saw the Self-Defense Forces praying for each remain that they had found. My husband originally had a dental appointment on 3.11 but for some reasons, it was rescheduled the day before. Thus, he was home with me to evacuate together. I learned that you can save only yourself. You are the only one who can save your life. Don’t wait for people but just escape. Of course, I have a mixed feeling but it does not make me all sad that Tsunami destroyed our house. It is much sadder to lose your own family. My sister has become mentally ill and it is difficult to encourage her. I have no idea what the future holds. A few days after Tsunami, I went back home. There we found only 2 pots of cactus on the 2nd floor. My son brought them down to downstairs. I was surprised to see green in that situation. I have been taking good care of the cactus since then but its flowers do not bloom any more. I also found narcissus in our garden so I dig it out and brought it back to the shelter. On the 11th day after Tsunami, we moved from the shelter to Sendai and lived there for 3 years. During our walk, I found the same plants that we used to have in our garden and it made me sad. The smell from the stewed vegetables reminded me of our home and made me think why I was here. When I heard an announcement about an invitation to a concert during a bus ride in Sendai, I was surprised to learn how it was different from Ishinomaki and a different world. 3.11 gave me a chance to take a new step. For me, it was to close down the electronic appliance store. I was too busy. I spent working on the maintenance, repairs and accounting for 50 years. My priority was work than life. The store was for those who were waiting for the bus. Homeless and senior people often stop by too. I feel it is a waste to see people buying the brand new electronic appliances though you could just change the parts to fix them. Right now, I live my life day by day. I no longer live to work and learned life is not all about money. I started growing avocadoes. I like collecting rocks and fossils of trees since my childhood. Right after the earthquake, a neighbor died because he went to get his car back. I should have stopped him to go telling him that Tsunami was coming. I just cannot forget his last smile and I will not be able to forget it for the rest of my life. On May 12, I was saddened to cremate 5 relatives. Right before 3.11, my car made a strange sound. I hate the sound of the wireless-activated disaster warning system. I know that we will face natural disaster in the future. I realize how small the human beings are when I see the stratum and know the long and huge history of the globe and nature. A few months before 3.11, I saw a large crowd of sardine. We always must be on the alert. I liked reading so much especially the “Anne of Green Gables” and Daddy-Long-Legs”. I like the theme that tomorrow will be the better day. I also like movies, Bunraku and flamenco. Right before the disaster, I saw the flowers of lotus, blackberries and Asian hard clams. Now I spend time reading and studying without worrying about time. My mother lost her young son due to illness and then I was born in the following year. I was never held by my mother. So, I don’t know how to hold my own children. My father was an alcoholic but he loved me. He experienced the war and I heard him screaming “Help me” in Chinese. I am sure my mother was hurt. Now I feel that I wish I could understand my parents better. The war is just so cruel. After the war, a soldier came back crossing the Okachitoge Pass. Then he saw his wife hanging her baby’s diaper. He then learned that his wife got married to his brother before his return. With that, he decided to go back the Pass. I have 4 children. There are many issues that I need to revolve. So, I plan to face the issues and them to take care of the children. I also would like to take a walk. I would like to live an ordinary life. It has taken 3 years for me to get to where I am. I designed my house to be a one-story house. This is because that our neighbors would be able to evacuate to be here in case of an emergency, about 50 people can be cared, cleaned and use the mud toilet.