Ms. RS (a woman in her 60’s) Ｒ．Ｓ ６０代

July 24, 2016 I believe experience and wisdom can tell us what the next step should be, which come from our inner self. Please don’t forget about 3.11 and all of us who are still living in Ishinomaki. Actual events could be different from what’s reported on TV or by news. I realize and accept that my life will not reach my goals 100%. In November 2010, a year before the disaster, I retired in Tokyo and returned to Ishinomaki to live with my mother, where I grew up. Shortly after my move, I was hit by the disaster in the March of the following year. After my retirement at 60 years old, I was planning to spend good times doing what I have been fond of. Some of my moving packages were not yet unpacked, and books I was planning to read were swept away by the tsunami. I didn’t die and survived, but my classmates were missing. I couldn’t stay discouraged, so I must accept what had occurred. Although I had only experienced cooking for family, I opened a café in August 2014 because I needed to do something. Volunteers were helpful to clean up the place. I wanted to create a space where people could gather, because what I witnessed was horrific. It was a relief to see that people were gathering at a beauty salon that had been re-opened in the neighborhood. I invited someone I knew who was isolated herself at a temporary housing, and she agreed to help me at my café. I used to work as a social worker in Tokyo and had experience meeting with many people and handling complains positively. It may be my personality to accept others. I think of 3.11 as something that could happen and something that you would experience. I stayed at a shelter for two weeks being totally stunned. In the grayness and debris, I thought of having a café to create a sign of life and to let the world know there are people here. It’s the image of the growing of new sprout from the dead plant in spring. I moved to a temporary housing from the shelter and had a duty of a look-around. I had small two rooms and wanted to do something as the place was too small to get comfortable if stayed all day. The course of nature is immense. We shouldn’t even think about controlling it. Just avoid fearsome nature and escape when a Tsunami comes. It used to be a beach where sea bathers’ voice flowed in the wind. There was only a small seawall. The ocean has days that are beautifully gentle and days that are rough. I am sad that a large fishing port was built a long time ago, and it made the water flow change that removed the sandy beach. When I was a child, long before 3.11, it was a shoaling beach filled with beautiful water. My feet got hot before reaching the water as the beach was so wide. I feel bitter for having the fishing port more than having the tsunami. I was watching the tsunami caused by the Great Chilean Earthquake from the seawall in 1960. So, we didn’t escape this time thinking we were safe here. On 3.11, I saw the tsunami through the pine forest while I was driving. I thought this forest was deep, but I was mistaken. After the strong earthquake, I said to myself “As expected, a Tsunami is coming!” The car radio also said “It’s a tsunami!” I kept driving while checking my rearview mirror. When I turned left, there was someone I knew who was standing in water raised up to his ankles. He was waiting for a car to carry his mother who was bedridden. The tsunami rushed in when two of us just started to carry his mother upstairs by climbing the stairs. We hurried to go upstairs. I thought I didn’t want to die. We tried to keep his mother warm with many blankets. From upstairs, we watched the tsunami heading towards the mountain. I cannot move forward unless I accept a situation. Imagination is also important not only having knowledge. Sometimes I tumble to an answer when I continue to stick to it. It may not be right away, but a flash moment of realization certainly comes. So, we must wait until something develops next by taking it as a preparation period. Someone was saying that there was an order just like a baby crawling. Crawling, standing up, then climbing stairs one step at a time. I wanted to have an easy life after retirement, but now I don’t even have my own time. It was a fun and joy to open the café within 5 years of the disaster. The sun rises tomorrow, and there is no such night that fails to dawn. It’s never stays the same just like when I was waiting for the morning in upstairs on March 11. We need messages like, “You are not the only one”, “Someone is thinking of you”, “You are not alone”, “There is someone who is worrying about you”. I believe that I was able to overcome this disaster because I was not the only one who was affected by the disaster. I’m thinking about my next step. Various people come to my café, who carried numerous issues, but they were trying very hard to live their life and to stand up. I’m sick of Tokyo. High rises block the sunshine, and space is tight. It’s convenient with everything available, but I don’t want to live there again. Volunteers come to my café to plant flowers. We even have yoga and picture letter classes. Café’s name is “ocean” in French. I had an obscurely image of the color blue, so it’s a café with blue sky and blue ocean. I will continue to deal with ocean even repining, and that’s my attitude.