Ms. AS (a woman in her 60’s) Ａ．Ｓさん

August 21, 2016 I lost a lot but appreciated that I gained more than I lost. In the summer of 2011, we started repairing our home with the help of a carpenter we knew. In October, a lost cat showed up from a vent, which looked like an old rag full of hairballs. It must have belonged to someone before, because it snuggled up to me. This cat seemed to be a victim of PTSD. It occasionally panics to runs by looking up the sky. I can imagine the horror this cat must have experienced in the disaster. The kindness and compassion of people that I felt during the disaster were something I could have never experienced in my ordinary life. My husband had been sick and in and out of bed for 3-4 years and taking strong medication. My daughter was in the middle of getting a divorce. When my husband became mostly bedridden, I had a fresh surprise that I could do mostly anything that we needed to do by myself. I didn’t have time to cry. I remember that a celebrity on the television once said, “Accept what comes to you without running away. Life is a training journey.” This was just before the 3.11 disaster. The water from the Tsunami came in to our house from the main entrance and rose up to 2 meters. I went upstairs with my husband and cat immediately. Once we evacuated to upstairs, I realized that the whole neighboring area was under water. I was somewhat relieved to know that we were not the only victims. Later, I had a chance to visit Kobe where was hit by the Great Hanshin Earthquake 20 some years ago and was impressed by seeing the amazing recovery. It made me feel confident of human abilities, and I was convinced that Ishinomaki would be all right as long as we work hard and look forward. It was a touching experience to visit Kobe. My next door neighbor had evacuated to a middle school. One day after 3.11, they came home to pick up some food and hit by the Tsunami on their way back to the school. We had bread, water, sweet buns and blankets. There were eight slices of bread in a package, and I suggested my husband that we would stretch them for one week. I asked my next door neighbor through the window if they had enough food. They didn’t. So, I packed some sweet buns in a plastic bag and passed it to them using a laundry pole. A little while later, they passed us some water in return but also seasoned rice and Natto which were many times more than what I had given them. I only wanted to help them without any expectations. We had some bags to collect dog’s pee and thought we could use them in lieu of a toilet for at least 10 days. Water didn’t withdraw even into March 14. After few days, I was finally able to go downstairs, stood on the shoe cabinet and collected shoes from the mud and debris. My son, who lives in Sendai, came to pick us up, and we lived in his house for about 10 days until the end of March. When we were leaving for Sendai, my next door neighbor’s daughter came out and gave us freshly made warm rice balls. Delicious! I thought it was the best one I’ve ever tasted in my life. In Sendai, I was able to receive medication free of charge from a hospital. Sendai still had power and we could watch TV. It seemed like a different world. At the time of 3.11, I planned to lay my bedridden husband on a board that I found on top of the closet and release in to the water if the water came any higher. Having a cat was very comforting. She must have been holding her urine for a long time. On the third day, when I made a toilet out of torn papers, she released a lot. The area surrounding my house was full of debris and overturned cars. We moved to my parents’ home from March 30 that was about 20 minutes away by car. I truly appreciated having parents and their home where I grew up. I used to visit them only once in two months. I commuted to Ishinomaki from my parents’ to clean my house. My brother and sister, with whom I hadn’t been associated so much, came to help me. I was so thankful to them, because it was entirely unexpected. We cooked cup noodles on a portable stove in upstairs and ate together. It was fan. My husband became slightly better since 3.11. Immediately after the disaster, I wondered why nobody came to rescue us. I realized that it was because there wasn’t any road that you could come. Then, I let go of that thought. I had dreamt of working overseas as a volunteer when I was single. I always wanted to travel abroad. I had English speaking pen pals overseas when I was a junior high student. I worked as a dressmaker until I was 26 years old, married and then had a baby at 27. My daughter was bullied in grade school and withdrew from the society for 10 years. She entered college but quit shortly after. It was hard for me to accept that she was socially withdrawn, but I believed my ability to overcome it and understood that my daughter was suffering as well. I talked about my daughter’s condition openly because it’s better than hiding. I have such an open attitude. When I was looking for my daughter’s apartment in Tokyo, I talked to a stranger, “Life is tough, isn’t it?” when I was drinking coffee at the hotel I was staying. Then, that stranger replied to me, “Being at the bottom wouldn’t last too long and you’d come through. Better not think you are at the bottom.” This made me feel better and I was able to have hope. I attended meetings for the families with socially withdrawn children, which were helpful as well. I’m a type of person who acts intuitively. I make immediate decisions on what needs to be done. I don’t believe in thinking too much. Since I watched Mother Teresa telling us to love your neighbor, I was eager and feeling impatient, even I was just a housewife, to help the poor. Being discouraged is never good. I’ve been blessed and remain happy for the past five years. I love the rainy days because it makes me feel at ease. When I exploded from the stress of caring my husband, someone I knew said “it’s good you exploded”. This made me happy. I don’t have pain because I didn’t lose any family members. We can fix the house and material things, and other things will take care of themselves. I thought I didn’t need relief supplies from an early stage, so I declined to receive them after the 3rd time. A delivery person congratulated me for that. 3.11 is one of the pages of my life. I can surely overcome it as long as I look forward. Japan has become a peace stupor still pursuing materials. Why don’t we change even after being damaged so much? Why don’t we learn from it? In 2013, I cooked bacon, sausage and eggs for breakfast for a young man who came as a volunteer from the USA. But, he was a vegetarian and only ate vegetables and fruits. I felt it was good that my dog died before the 3.11 disaster. I couldn’t have saved it.