Revision of Ms. BA (a woman in her 50’s)B.Aさん (５０代) from Thu, 12/03/2020 - 10:17

Item Description

August 31, 2014 My house in Izushima, Onagawa, was swept away by the Tsunami. On the day of the earthquake, my third son was going to take a train from Ishinomaki. We learned that the train was also swept away by the Tsunami. Luckily, my son didn’t make the train and survived. During the time his safety was unknown to us, I was too busy to find his whereabouts and had no time to be desperate. My son’s name was not found on the list of survivors posted at the Village Hall. I almost lost hope then not knowing he was alive. I sulked at the police station. There was no one at the train station to provide any information. I realized that I would need to give a great deal of support to my husband if we were to lose our son, as my husband adored him more than I did. I stayed at the high school building where I worked for the first two days and moved to the shelter on the third day. On the bulletin board at the high school building, I left a message to my son saying, “I am at the Junior High School Shelter”. I was pretty sure my motherin-law was safe in the island. I spent every day thinking that I need to protect my students. It took five days for the sea water to retreat. We spent the first 5 days at a shelter and the next 5 days at a friend’s house. We bought a used car for 600,000 yen (equivalent of $6,000) and commuted to work spending an hour and half every day from my brother’s house in Furukawa for the next four months until July. Lived in a temporary house for a year and half. How to protect my family was only thing on my mind back then. I didn’t want to see anyone and didn’t want to go anywhere even being invited for a period of time. Not having a house to go home to also meant that I didn’t have to cook dinner. It was a strange sense of relief, as well. At the age of forty, I became a librarian at the high school and commuted from my home on the island for seven years until I was transferred to the high school in Ishinomaki. I used to commute by taking the boat that leaves at six o’clock in the morning and came home on the 5:50 pm boat from there. During the three-month scallop fishing season from October through December, I help my husband with his ten fishing trips. My dream has been to build our own house, and the disaster realized our dream. If our old house on the island didn’t get swept away, the new house had not been possible. We built our house in 2013. We had bought a land a while ago to build an old-style house that I always dreamed about. Living in the city is much more convenient than the island life. I would love to invite people over to our new home, but at the same time it makes me feel guilty building our house in a big, clean space while others could not. I was afraid that the people who are still living in the temporary housing or small apartments inconveniently may feel envious towards us. I still feel I earned it by working hard. I have been bound by the rules and restrictions of the small island community of only about 500 people but now I have moved out and been liberated. My house on the island was stuffed with goods such as books, CD, children’s clothes. I realized we do not need all those goods to live. It’s meaningless after all, all those goods were swept away as debris. For the first four days after the disaster, I commuted to the house and kept cleaning up. I was there to watch the house being demolished. There are not too many things that are necessary to live. It is senseless to spend money on goods. My husband reestablished the fishing business by getting new materials and a boat. We ordered the boat from a boat builder who lost two elementary school aged grandchildren. It seemed to give him some hope to live. To receive the aid, you need to go through the complicated documentation preparation and the process at the local municipal office. I am concerned if the aid was missed by those who are not capable of reading or using computer. I had an experience of having a huge debt in the past. I told myself that I can only go forward, there’s no time to be discouraged and not acting. Living on the island prepared myself for the possibility of Tsunami disaster someday. I am thankful that my family was safe. I don’t wish to go back in time. The disaster happened as an extension of our lives. It feels like we time tripped to a whole different world. I was disappointed about people who sent us unwanted old clothes. I want to be physically strong to serve meals to others. I would like to open my house for volunteers to stay. I was destining to live here at this time. Before the disaster, I used to think I was going to spend my days ordinarily for the rest of my life.

Japanese Description

女川の出島の家が流失。震災当日、三男が石巻で乗ったはずの電車が津波に巻き込まれました。しかし三男は乗り遅れて、無事でした。行方不明の時、絶望しているひまがありませんでした。息子を失くしたかもしれないと、市役所で避難している人の名簿で名前を探しましたがありませんでした。半分あきらめましたが、無事でした。警察所で、ふてくされた態度を取りました。駅にも人がいなくて説明がありませんでした。自分より、夫の方が三男をかわいがっていたので、もし三男が亡くなったら夫を支えなくてはと思いました。自分は勤務先の高校から避難所へ３日目に移りました。高校の避難所の伝言版に“お母さんは中学校にいる”とメッセージを残しました。義母は島で無事のはず。生徒達を守らなければとも気持ちで生きました。 5 日で水がひけました。5 日間は避難所で、5 日間は知人宅で。中古車を６０万円で買い古川の弟宅から 7月まで 4カ月間、1時間半かけて通いました。仮設で一年半。家族をどう守るかをいつも考えていました。しばらく人と会いたくない、人に誘われても行きたくないという時期もありました。帰る家がないということは、ご飯をつくる必要がないという不思議な解放感もありました。 40 歳で図書館司書になりました。島から高校の図書室に７年間通いました。転勤で石巻の高校になり、朝 6 時半の船で出勤、夕方 5 時 50 分の船で帰宅。10 月から 12 月の 3 ヵ月はホタテの耳釣り（１０回）で夫を手伝います。ずっと夢だった家を２０１３年に建てたのですが、震災で夢がかなったということです。家が流失していなかったら建てられませんでした。古民家風の家が夢で、土地は以前に取得していました。市内は島より便利。新築の家に人を呼びたいけれど、広いきれいなスペースに、自分だけ建てていいのかとの後ろめたさもあります。まだ仮設や狭いアパートに暮らす不自由な生活をしている人が、恨みや妬みを感じるかも。しかし、自分はがんばって建てたのだとも思います。島（５００名）の掟やしきたりを守り縛られていましたが、今は解放されました。島の家では、物にあふれていました（本、CD、子供の着もの）。あってもなくてもいいものは入らないのです。物がガレキとなって、波に流され、ばかばかしい。震災後、 4 日間、自宅に通って片づけました。家の解体にたちあいました。生きるのに必要なものは、そんなにはなく、お金をつぎ込んでも無駄です。夫は漁業を再建。資材や船を調達。小学生の孫を二人失くした船大工さんに頼みました。大工さんにとっては生きる希望となったようです。役所の支援の書類は複雑で、読み書きパソコンができないと不利になるので、本当に必要な人に支援がいったか疑問。以前、多額の負債の経験。くじけている暇がない、しかたない、前に進むしかない。島の生活では、いつか津波はくるものとの準備、覚悟がありました。家族が無事でよかった。時間を戻してほしいと思いません。震災は人生の延長。次元の違う世界にタイムスリップした感覚。お払い箱の古着を送ってく人達に失望。食事作り、体力作りにはげんで、将来は食事を自宅で提供したい。支援ボランティアに自宅を開放したい。この場所のこの時代に生まれた因果。震災前は、自分の人生は何事もなく、こうやって平凡に終わるのかと、ぼんやり考えていました。２０１４年８月３１日

English Description

August 31, 2014 My house in Izushima, Onagawa, was swept away by the Tsunami. On the day of the earthquake, my third son was going to take a train from Ishinomaki. We learned that the train was also swept away by the Tsunami. Luckily, my son didn’t make the train and survived. During the time his safety was unknown to us, I was too busy to find his whereabouts and had no time to be desperate. My son’s name was not found on the list of survivors posted at the Village Hall. I almost lost hope then not knowing he was alive. I sulked at the police station. There was no one at the train station to provide any information. I realized that I would need to give a great deal of support to my husband if we were to lose our son, as my husband adored him more than I did. I stayed at the high school building where I worked for the first two days and moved to the shelter on the third day. On the bulletin board at the high school building, I left a message to my son saying, “I am at the Junior High School Shelter”. I was pretty sure my motherin-law was safe in the island. I spent every day thinking that I need to protect my students. It took five days for the sea water to retreat. We spent the first 5 days at a shelter and the next 5 days at a friend’s house. We bought a used car for 600,000 yen (equivalent of $6,000) and commuted to work spending an hour and half every day from my brother’s house in Furukawa for the next four months until July. Lived in a temporary house for a year and half. How to protect my family was only thing on my mind back then. I didn’t want to see anyone and didn’t want to go anywhere even being invited for a period of time. Not having a house to go home to also meant that I didn’t have to cook dinner. It was a strange sense of relief, as well. At the age of forty, I became a librarian at the high school and commuted from my home on the island for seven years until I was transferred to the high school in Ishinomaki. I used to commute by taking the boat that leaves at six o’clock in the morning and came home on the 5:50 pm boat from there. During the three-month scallop fishing season from October through December, I help my husband with his ten fishing trips. My dream has been to build our own house, and the disaster realized our dream. If our old house on the island didn’t get swept away, the new house had not been possible. We built our house in 2013. We had bought a land a while ago to build an old-style house that I always dreamed about. Living in the city is much more convenient than the island life. I would love to invite people over to our new home, but at the same time it makes me feel guilty building our house in a big, clean space while others could not. I was afraid that the people who are still living in the temporary housing or small apartments inconveniently may feel envious towards us. I still feel I earned it by working hard. I have been bound by the rules and restrictions of the small island community of only about 500 people but now I have moved out and been liberated. My house on the island was stuffed with goods such as books, CD, children’s clothes. I realized we do not need all those goods to live. It’s meaningless after all, all those goods were swept away as debris. For the first four days after the disaster, I commuted to the house and kept cleaning up. I was there to watch the house being demolished. There are not too many things that are necessary to live. It is senseless to spend money on goods. My husband reestablished the fishing business by getting new materials and a boat. We ordered the boat from a boat builder who lost two elementary school aged grandchildren. It seemed to give him some hope to live. To receive the aid, you need to go through the complicated documentation preparation and the process at the local municipal office. I am concerned if the aid was missed by those who are not capable of reading or using computer. I had an experience of having a huge debt in the past. I told myself that I can only go forward, there’s no time to be discouraged and not acting. Living on the island prepared myself for the possibility of Tsunami disaster someday. I am thankful that my family was safe. I don’t wish to go back in time. The disaster happened as an extension of our lives. It feels like we time tripped to a whole different world. I was disappointed about people who sent us unwanted old clothes. I want to be physically strong to serve meals to others. I would like to open my house for volunteers to stay. I was destining to live here at this time. Before the disaster, I used to think I was going to spend my days ordinarily for the rest of my life.